Do you know a boss who is behaving badly?

We've all been in a bad mood and we've all taken our bad mood out of those around us, usually our nearest and dearest.  You may well be someone who leads a team or a business and you may well have occasionally taken your frustrations out on the people you work with.  THIS IS CALLED BEING HUMAN! 

When I talk about bosses behaving badly, I'm talking about a mood or frame of mind that continues no matter what successes there are in the business or whether the business is doing well or not.  It's those people who shout, nit pick, publicly humiliate, bully and blame everyone else for failures and never apologise because this type of boss can never be wrong.

What can you do to learn from this experience and how can you make sure you thrive working in such an environment?

The first thing to remember is that the person's behaviour is only a representation of what's going on in their lives at this point in time.  Many bosses will bottle things up so they're not see as vulnerable or weak and as a result will often have feelings of anger and frustration because those feelings have to emerge somehow.  Remember, you only see them at work, you have no idea what's going on in their lives at home.

When anger emerges, it can also be a release of pressure.  Some people laugh, some cry and some shout when they need to let off steam.  It's only words and is highly unlikely to be personal to you.  It's just an outburst and we all have them.

Some people are simply dissatisfied with life.  This dissatisfaction comes in many forms and you'll find the nit picking boss is actually deeply unhappy for some reason.  Nothing is ever right and this is quite a sad way to live when you think about it.  There is no such thing as perfection and striving for perfection will drive people crazy.  Your boss is no exception.  If you know you're doing your best, then keep doing your best and don't send yourself crazy by trying to meet the unrealistic expectations of a perfectionist.

It's a bit worrying, but lots of people find themselves in leadership roles and don't understand what it really means to be a leader.  Many individuals are fantastic practitioners of IT, finance, science etc, but have no idea how to deal with people.  People are messy and never black and white.  Leaders from a tech/engineering type background often find these shades of grey very challenging indeed.  The best thing you can do is keep your emotions under check and offer these people black and white choices or even a neat and tidy spreadsheet to get your message across.

Very few bosses are bad people.  They're heart is usually in the right place and the competing demands of running a business or a team are often extremely energy draining.  So, next time your boss really cheeses you off, remember they're human too and question the behaviour rather than the human being.

If might make you feel better too.

Contact Rebecca in one of three ways 07734 934084 or or for coaching, training and NLP.